"I Want To Be Things"

i'm finishing up some final stuff for school and listening to some good music. a lyric just struck me from the song "give up the war" by starflyer 59. the song talks about how the singer (jason martin) has this desire to "be things" and yet always seems to get discouraged by life's circumstances.

"it's simply that i am still afraid, i want to give up the war."

martin talks about some of the biblical characters who never gave up the war, specifically paul. he says he wants to be like paul, he was simply not afraid and never gave up the war. the resolution of the song, though, is nothing extraordinary or mind-blowing... martin just continues to sing "i want to be things, always living, pressing on"

i think there's value in that. our culture thrives on quick fixes and incredible resolutions that tie everything up and make everyone happy at the end of the show or movie. further, it seems that we pursue that and desire that in our everyday lives. i mean, heck, look at the self-help industry! what if that wasn't the right way to live, though? in fact, what if that was the exact opposite of what our response to life should be?

i think hope exists in that place where one has nothing left to do but "press on." otherwise, why would someone choose to continue? i find no hope in a quick fix, nor in a tidy resolution. what if hope existed in difficult situations??? and not that hope that says "oh well, it will get better i promise." no... it's a hope that says "yeah this sucks, but God never said it would be any other way." what if that hope could fuel you in the hard times? it's a hope that causes you to press on. why? because its what we're supposed to do.

"i want to be things, always living, pressing on"

i'm tired

i'm tired of fighting.

why must we always fight? i'm following this whole "expelled" movie thing and it's making me weary. why do we have to fight against culture and against science? why can't we encounter culture without pretense? why must there be an agenda for everything?

i'm tired of setting up boundaries. i'm tired of drawing battle lines. i'm tired of christianity always seeing things with a battle mindset. why are we so insecure? it's like we feel the need to prove our faith right and better than anything else. the thing is, we aren't supposed to! what we're supposed to do is encounter the world and show them the right way to live, and i'll tell you right now... throwing grenades is NOT the right way to live. it's about living life together. its about settling down for a process and not concentrating on getting evangelistic "notches on the belt." the ONLY way to convince people that our way is the right way to live is to live it with them! it's not about setting your friends down, drawing them a nice tidy diagram and leading them in the sinner's prayer. it's about being an example of Christ in ALL things to ALL people. when Jesus ascended, his commission to the disciples was to be his witnesses.

what is a witness? a witness is a testimony. it's a living example of some truth. witnessing isn't canvassing. witnessing isn't starting conversations with people having some sort of ulterior agenda or motive. our example is the witness, not our words.

does this all make sense? we're so damned misguided. and the sad thing is, in the average church, more people would be upset that i said the word "damned" than be upset about the body of Christ not achieving the prerogatives set for us by our Lord. it's not a battle, folks. it's a journey.

let's do this the right way.